attempts at flight

my mum thinks that i'm not fit enough to go out alone, but fit enough to attend a family gathering with her tomorrow.

double standards, anyone?

that's how long i have not stepped out of the house.

bloody hell.

my mum waved some incense paper at me and grounded me starting from last night, thinking i'll recover from my persistent fever, and whatever was causing it.

the doctor suspected dengue, but so far, the fever has subsided but the rashes have yet to develop.

and i'm done with my brother. seriously. i can't sleep and you continue to giggle at your monitor, persistently click and tap on your mouse and keyboard?! seriously. and then he retorts, 'the next time i am tired, i expect you to do the same.' seriously. i use the NETBOOK 24/7. i don't provide the glare that your huge ass monitor gives off that gives me a headache, and i do not click and click and click, tap and tap and tap at WoW. so don't give me that bullshit. hurry up and enlist. i can't wait to fall asleep in peace.

and the parents have never stopped nagging about staying up late, sleeping enough and knowing my limits. oh, and consistently asking the same question everyday, "你到底在搞什么鬼？“ roughly translated into "what the hell are you up to?"



EXCUSE ME. SINCE WHEN IS FEVER A SELF INFLICTED DISEASE? OH AND DENGUE FEVER AS WELL?!



anyone still remember my theory aboout how family members should never live together, so we will love each other more?

argh.



on another note, i wish whatever has been plaguing me since tuesday is not dengue fever. the thought of staying in the hospital for a few days bores the hell out of me. let's just hope it's just fever and nothing else. though i would love to prove my mum wrong.

there is nothing pleasant about the news of someone passing away. but it is even more so when tabloids sensationalise and make a field day out of that particular death, causing more grief to his already distressed family and friends.

r.i.p. francis. hopefully there are no tabloids wherever you are.

i can't believe myself; i've just spent the entire day, tossing and turning in bed with my laptop, looking at camera reviews all over the www. i think i can fucking write a paper on the differences between the panasonic lx3, the whole panasonic tz series, canon sx110is, and fujifilm f200exr. and i still have no idea which one i'll get..... this afternoon, i was leaning towards the tz7, and now i'm not too sure. the f200exr seems really good too! ARGH. the only thing i know: something faster and takes better pictures in low light than my current lousy nikon. i repeat LOUSY. who'd expect nikon to produce something so lousy?

anyways.

that was just one way of spending my holiday haha. i've got a few other ways to do so for the coming week. i've got a feeling this week will be over so fast before i know it, and sleeping is just too... decadent. i need more rest time like this. i wished i had more time to while away before i went full-time. but oh well. no room for regrets now, have we?

alrightys time to hit the bed before i oversleep my meeting tomorrow.

 comex and a private sale coming right up after i get my salary.

BANISH ALL EVIL THOUGHTS. BANISH ALL EVIL THOUGHTS. BANISH ALL EVIL THOUGHTS.

but but but, that lx-3, ipod nano and macbook are all calling to me....................................

*tears hair out*

relief, freedom, loss, lost, and i don't know what else. but i think i would surely and slowly get used to it.

meeting a long-lost secondary school friend on tuesday left me feeling guilty; i've neglected friends of my past for far too long. i have some major catching up to do during the sept holidays hehehe.

i'm a little pissed with my driving instructor.

and it feels good that the apostrophe button is finally working :)


oh oh oh. i am extremely tempted by the educational rebate. MACBOOK PRO WITH FREE ITOUCH. GAH.

off to hangzhou to sing my guts out, look at purportedly most beautiful place on earth, and witness the TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE. 

whee. :)

i haven't been home before 11pm for a while now; it feels refreshing and yet at the same time alien to be preparing for bed at 1am. hmmm. maybe this accounts for the pimply spotty red face that is heavily concealed by makeup. gah. oh well. i keep telling myself. another 4 more weeks to go before i end my temp assignment, go to hangzhou, and start my new life, my new routine, my new whatever. 4 more weeks to the end of life as i knew it for the past 23 years. and i don't even know if i really want to do it. gah.

maybe that accounted for the huge emotional upheaval that i had a few weeks back, where i completely broke down on the bus. too many unknowns, too little certainty. exciting, yes, but at the same time frighteningly strange.

anyhoos, since i need the moolah, i'll be working till a week before finally flying off to hangzhou. in the meantime, i'm squeezing tuition, driving lessons (when my instructor doesn't cancel), choirs, and friends all in one go. i celebrated at least 5 birthdays in the last month, went cycling, cooked, ate and ate and ate. hahaha. i think i just gained another 3kg from the last time i weighed myself. not good. another round of cycling is in order this saturday!

  and if you're wondering, i figured out that family can always come later when i finally let go of my so many commitments come july/aug.

and this is me giving you a quick update from the long bout of silence :)

... because i have to.